Post by Rianna Priest on Apr 25, 2011 14:39:39 GMT -5
It was a cold, stormy evening as the young girl made her way home. The rain pelted against her frail body, soaking her clothes within minutes. A fine trembling ran through her, and her pale skin had a blue tint to it. She had lost all feeling to her limbs long ago, and now her body moved in an awkward way. The movements were jerky, as if she were a robot with faulty wiring. With her face hidden in the shadows of the hood she had on, nobody would be able to recognize her, and that was the point.
When she had left her house earlier that day, the only thing on her mind had been disappearing. She could be anywhere but at home, as long as she was able to blend into her surroundings. The girl needed space, time, and to be left alone.
passing under the dim glow of a street light, the young girl's feature were shown for a split second. The light burned into the back of her mind, causing dancing lights to flash in front of her green eyes. As quickly as they appeared, the lights fanished from her field of vision and she could see again. She heard loud noises coming from a nearby alley and her pace increased. Her heartbeat thrummed in her chest, causing her blue-tinted skin to change to a light shade of pink.
"Get a grip, Joss, it's only an animal."
The girl's eyes widened and she spun around expecting, no, hoping, that Milo would be standing there. She looked around, but there was nobody else there. A burning edge of tears stuck in the back of her throat, leaving her speechless and disheartened. She hadn't slept in days because she had known that this day was coming. Every bone in her body ached with a cold chill that she could only associate with death. For that was exactly what this day was associated with. One year ago today, this girl had lost the only person she still called family.
"Jocelyn Marie Evans, I'm gonna find you. You know you can't hide from me."
There it was again, that voice. The voice that had haunted her for weeks after his death. Oh, how she missed hearing that voice yelling at her to get up before they were late for school. This voice used to be the greatest comfort to her, and now all it brought was pain. Her eyes had begun to water, though one couldn't tell between the rain and lack of light. Shifting her gaze towards the shadows, the girl tried to find some figure, some silhouette that was out of place. There wasn't one.
One more, her pace increased as she tried to get away. Away from what though? The memories? The pain? The heartache? Or am I just trying to get away from myself? She sensed movement but made no attempt to find out what it was. Running, she had to keep running, it was the only thing keeping her together.
The arms came out of nowhere, pulling her into a doorway before she had a chance to react. She wanted to scream, to kick, to fight...but she couldn't. The arms holding her against a well defined chest weren't even the reason she couldn't fight. There was no fight left in her. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry herself to sleep.
"Tread lightly, Joss, for this is enemy territory."
Startled once more by the voice of her brother, the girl began trying to pull away. She had to be sure. She had to be sure that he really wasn't somewhere close.
"Hey, Joss, are you okay? What's wrong? Why are you out this late in a storm?"
Green eyes narrowing into a look of puzzlement, the teen looked up to see James. Of all people, it was James who found her first. She stood there quietly staring up into his face, trying to process the feeling of fear that had suddenly overwhelmed her. The arms that had been holding her in place now pulled her close in a slow, tentative motion.
What was going on? Why was this scenario so frightening? Her mind tried to wrap itself around the fact that James was being nice. He had only been nice to her once before...when the last big storm hit.
"Joss? Can you hear me? Do you need a ride home?" The boy looked down at her, a very worried look on his face. Worry? It was so unbecoming of him.
She could feel the words forming as she shook her head. Lost was a good way to describe how she was feeling, but it wasn't the kind of lost where she needed help home. "I-uh-no. I just...I need..."
"What do you need, Jocelyn? Tell him and he will help. give too much away and you may never see your friends again."
How?! How did the voice know what she needed? Where was it coming from? Why wouldn't it just leave her alone? All of these thoughts rolled through her mind until it occurred to her what she really needed at that moment.
"I need to forget, at least for a little while. I need to forget the date, his smell, the sound of his voice. I just need to forget him, because I haven't slept in days. My whole being knows what today is, and I feel so lost and I-I-I-..." she sputtered.
The words had stopped coming, and she let the tears fall. It was all she do to stay standing. Though she knew that if she were to fall right now, James would catch her. HE wouldn't let her fall either, he never had. She looked at James, and for a minute, saw the face that haunted her so. Letting out a strangled sob, her hands pushed James away. The poor thing tried to get away, but he just held on tighter.
"Hey, listen to me. Joss. Joss. Joss! Look at me," he said harshly enough to get her attention. "Milo wouldn't want you moping around like this. I know I'm not the best person to talk to, and I know that I've never been all that nice. Your guard is up and I know why, but Milo would have never allowed you to live life strung out on antidepressants and sleeping pills that don't help you. You have friends that still care about you, even if you ignore them. They've been worried about you all day. Ryan went so far as to call my dad and ask for help finding you. They're probably all at your house waiting for you. Come on, let's get you dried off and then I'll give you a ride home."
Letting him pull her inside the house, she stood in the entryway waiting for him to return. When he came back, he was carrying a towel and had thrown a wrinkled t-shirt over his flannel pants.
Accepting the towel, she gave James a small smile. It took her a moment, but she managed to choke down the tears at the back of her throat. She looked at James.
"Th-thank you."
James looked at her and gave her a hug before grabbing his car keys off the table.
"It's not a problem, Joss," he said softly as he grabbed her hand to lead her back out to his car. Thankfully, the rain had lightened up some, so they weren't soaked when they got in.
Watching James start the car, the girl was a bit surprised to hear Framing Hanley playing quietly.
"I know them...they're really cool guys," she said quietly.
James chuckled nervously and nodded. "I heard about that," he said. His eyes glanced back to the road, then to her again. She looked at James and frowned, wondering why he seemed antsy now. Better yet, why is he being so nice? Why is he helping me?
"Is...Is everything okay, James?"
He looked at her with a startled deer in the headlights expression. She watched his eyes fill with a form of confidence, almost as if he was bracing himself for something.
"I'm th reason your brother died, Joss. I was the drunk driver that hit him. I-I didn't mean for it to happen. I've fet so bad for it, because I didn't want to tell you. I didn't think about how you must be feeling until I saw you walking outside my house. I'm so so sorry, Joss."
Eyes wide and face frozen, the girl looked at him and didn't know what to say. She wanted to slap him across the face, but after he'd been so nice to her, she couldn't find it in herself.
"Forgive him, Joss. I want you to forgive him. You can't forgive yourself until you forgive him. Don't do it for me, Joss. Do it for yourself."
She looked out the window and shook her head. He took away my only family, and I'm expected to forgive him? I don't know if I can do it, she thought.
"Damn it to hell, Joss. You've always been so damn stubborn. Can you not for once do what is best for you?"
Frowning, the girl turned to look at James. When she saw him crying softly, she felt her anger disolve into pity. He'd been holding this in for a year. And he was genuinely sorry for the whole incident. Biting her lip, the girl began to think of how to word her thoughts.
"I know we've never been friends and that you'll probably be a jackass again insie of school. I accept that, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And I don't understand how you could keep something like that from me. You killed my twin, the only true family I had left, and that can't be changed.
Stopping, Joss looked at James, noting how hi face had changed from hopeful to hopeless, though the tears had stopped.
"However, Milo wouldn't want me being full of pent up anger. And you're right, he wouldn't want me strung out on drugs. But...I-I forgive you, James. Just don't make me regret it," she said quietly.
James looked at the petite figure sitting beside him. Her normally red hair looked black from all the rain in it. The bright green eyes looked at him from amid the mass of curls and he smiled. "I think I can manage that. And Joss...thanks. I wouldn't have been able to look at you the same if you hadn't forgiven me."
"Why is that James?"
"Because I've opened myself up to you. If you had rejected me, I'd have become a bigger jerk that I was before today," he said softly.
Joss turned to look out the window, not sure how to reply to James. She bit her lip and watched the lights of houses whose occupants were still sitting up.
"You need to flush those pills when youget home, Jocelyn."
Her eyes widened as she turned to look at James. "Did you say something?"
He glanced at her, worry creasing his brow as he saw how upset she seemed. "I-no. I didn't say anything. Why?"
"Remember what I said, Jocelyn. Don't give too much away."
"I...nevermind. I guess I'm just being paranoid. I thought you'd said something. My bad."
Pulling up in front of her house, James parked the car and looked over at Joss. She stared back at him, neither saying a word until a loud knocking on the window made them both jump. Ryan stood beside the car, an angry look on his face. Joss rolled down the window and looked at him, trying to judge how angry he was.
"Before you start, let me explain. Please. I went to Milo's grave earlier today. I thought I needed some alone time with him. When I left there, my feet took me to the different places we used to go together. It started rianing and I started walking home. James saw me, grabbed me, and gave me a towel to dry off with before giving me a ride home. So rather than yelling at him, you should be thanking him."
"Jocelyn, I wasn't going to yell at him. I'm just upset that you didn't tell any of us where you were going."
Joss nodded and got out of the car, giving James a small smile as she shut the door. The pair watched James drive off before going inside to confront the others.
When she had left her house earlier that day, the only thing on her mind had been disappearing. She could be anywhere but at home, as long as she was able to blend into her surroundings. The girl needed space, time, and to be left alone.
passing under the dim glow of a street light, the young girl's feature were shown for a split second. The light burned into the back of her mind, causing dancing lights to flash in front of her green eyes. As quickly as they appeared, the lights fanished from her field of vision and she could see again. She heard loud noises coming from a nearby alley and her pace increased. Her heartbeat thrummed in her chest, causing her blue-tinted skin to change to a light shade of pink.
"Get a grip, Joss, it's only an animal."
The girl's eyes widened and she spun around expecting, no, hoping, that Milo would be standing there. She looked around, but there was nobody else there. A burning edge of tears stuck in the back of her throat, leaving her speechless and disheartened. She hadn't slept in days because she had known that this day was coming. Every bone in her body ached with a cold chill that she could only associate with death. For that was exactly what this day was associated with. One year ago today, this girl had lost the only person she still called family.
"Jocelyn Marie Evans, I'm gonna find you. You know you can't hide from me."
There it was again, that voice. The voice that had haunted her for weeks after his death. Oh, how she missed hearing that voice yelling at her to get up before they were late for school. This voice used to be the greatest comfort to her, and now all it brought was pain. Her eyes had begun to water, though one couldn't tell between the rain and lack of light. Shifting her gaze towards the shadows, the girl tried to find some figure, some silhouette that was out of place. There wasn't one.
One more, her pace increased as she tried to get away. Away from what though? The memories? The pain? The heartache? Or am I just trying to get away from myself? She sensed movement but made no attempt to find out what it was. Running, she had to keep running, it was the only thing keeping her together.
The arms came out of nowhere, pulling her into a doorway before she had a chance to react. She wanted to scream, to kick, to fight...but she couldn't. The arms holding her against a well defined chest weren't even the reason she couldn't fight. There was no fight left in her. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry herself to sleep.
"Tread lightly, Joss, for this is enemy territory."
Startled once more by the voice of her brother, the girl began trying to pull away. She had to be sure. She had to be sure that he really wasn't somewhere close.
"Hey, Joss, are you okay? What's wrong? Why are you out this late in a storm?"
Green eyes narrowing into a look of puzzlement, the teen looked up to see James. Of all people, it was James who found her first. She stood there quietly staring up into his face, trying to process the feeling of fear that had suddenly overwhelmed her. The arms that had been holding her in place now pulled her close in a slow, tentative motion.
What was going on? Why was this scenario so frightening? Her mind tried to wrap itself around the fact that James was being nice. He had only been nice to her once before...when the last big storm hit.
"Joss? Can you hear me? Do you need a ride home?" The boy looked down at her, a very worried look on his face. Worry? It was so unbecoming of him.
She could feel the words forming as she shook her head. Lost was a good way to describe how she was feeling, but it wasn't the kind of lost where she needed help home. "I-uh-no. I just...I need..."
"What do you need, Jocelyn? Tell him and he will help. give too much away and you may never see your friends again."
How?! How did the voice know what she needed? Where was it coming from? Why wouldn't it just leave her alone? All of these thoughts rolled through her mind until it occurred to her what she really needed at that moment.
"I need to forget, at least for a little while. I need to forget the date, his smell, the sound of his voice. I just need to forget him, because I haven't slept in days. My whole being knows what today is, and I feel so lost and I-I-I-..." she sputtered.
The words had stopped coming, and she let the tears fall. It was all she do to stay standing. Though she knew that if she were to fall right now, James would catch her. HE wouldn't let her fall either, he never had. She looked at James, and for a minute, saw the face that haunted her so. Letting out a strangled sob, her hands pushed James away. The poor thing tried to get away, but he just held on tighter.
"Hey, listen to me. Joss. Joss. Joss! Look at me," he said harshly enough to get her attention. "Milo wouldn't want you moping around like this. I know I'm not the best person to talk to, and I know that I've never been all that nice. Your guard is up and I know why, but Milo would have never allowed you to live life strung out on antidepressants and sleeping pills that don't help you. You have friends that still care about you, even if you ignore them. They've been worried about you all day. Ryan went so far as to call my dad and ask for help finding you. They're probably all at your house waiting for you. Come on, let's get you dried off and then I'll give you a ride home."
Letting him pull her inside the house, she stood in the entryway waiting for him to return. When he came back, he was carrying a towel and had thrown a wrinkled t-shirt over his flannel pants.
Accepting the towel, she gave James a small smile. It took her a moment, but she managed to choke down the tears at the back of her throat. She looked at James.
"Th-thank you."
James looked at her and gave her a hug before grabbing his car keys off the table.
"It's not a problem, Joss," he said softly as he grabbed her hand to lead her back out to his car. Thankfully, the rain had lightened up some, so they weren't soaked when they got in.
Watching James start the car, the girl was a bit surprised to hear Framing Hanley playing quietly.
"I know them...they're really cool guys," she said quietly.
James chuckled nervously and nodded. "I heard about that," he said. His eyes glanced back to the road, then to her again. She looked at James and frowned, wondering why he seemed antsy now. Better yet, why is he being so nice? Why is he helping me?
"Is...Is everything okay, James?"
He looked at her with a startled deer in the headlights expression. She watched his eyes fill with a form of confidence, almost as if he was bracing himself for something.
"I'm th reason your brother died, Joss. I was the drunk driver that hit him. I-I didn't mean for it to happen. I've fet so bad for it, because I didn't want to tell you. I didn't think about how you must be feeling until I saw you walking outside my house. I'm so so sorry, Joss."
Eyes wide and face frozen, the girl looked at him and didn't know what to say. She wanted to slap him across the face, but after he'd been so nice to her, she couldn't find it in herself.
"Forgive him, Joss. I want you to forgive him. You can't forgive yourself until you forgive him. Don't do it for me, Joss. Do it for yourself."
She looked out the window and shook her head. He took away my only family, and I'm expected to forgive him? I don't know if I can do it, she thought.
"Damn it to hell, Joss. You've always been so damn stubborn. Can you not for once do what is best for you?"
Frowning, the girl turned to look at James. When she saw him crying softly, she felt her anger disolve into pity. He'd been holding this in for a year. And he was genuinely sorry for the whole incident. Biting her lip, the girl began to think of how to word her thoughts.
"I know we've never been friends and that you'll probably be a jackass again insie of school. I accept that, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And I don't understand how you could keep something like that from me. You killed my twin, the only true family I had left, and that can't be changed.
Stopping, Joss looked at James, noting how hi face had changed from hopeful to hopeless, though the tears had stopped.
"However, Milo wouldn't want me being full of pent up anger. And you're right, he wouldn't want me strung out on drugs. But...I-I forgive you, James. Just don't make me regret it," she said quietly.
James looked at the petite figure sitting beside him. Her normally red hair looked black from all the rain in it. The bright green eyes looked at him from amid the mass of curls and he smiled. "I think I can manage that. And Joss...thanks. I wouldn't have been able to look at you the same if you hadn't forgiven me."
"Why is that James?"
"Because I've opened myself up to you. If you had rejected me, I'd have become a bigger jerk that I was before today," he said softly.
Joss turned to look out the window, not sure how to reply to James. She bit her lip and watched the lights of houses whose occupants were still sitting up.
"You need to flush those pills when youget home, Jocelyn."
Her eyes widened as she turned to look at James. "Did you say something?"
He glanced at her, worry creasing his brow as he saw how upset she seemed. "I-no. I didn't say anything. Why?"
"Remember what I said, Jocelyn. Don't give too much away."
"I...nevermind. I guess I'm just being paranoid. I thought you'd said something. My bad."
Pulling up in front of her house, James parked the car and looked over at Joss. She stared back at him, neither saying a word until a loud knocking on the window made them both jump. Ryan stood beside the car, an angry look on his face. Joss rolled down the window and looked at him, trying to judge how angry he was.
"Before you start, let me explain. Please. I went to Milo's grave earlier today. I thought I needed some alone time with him. When I left there, my feet took me to the different places we used to go together. It started rianing and I started walking home. James saw me, grabbed me, and gave me a towel to dry off with before giving me a ride home. So rather than yelling at him, you should be thanking him."
"Jocelyn, I wasn't going to yell at him. I'm just upset that you didn't tell any of us where you were going."
Joss nodded and got out of the car, giving James a small smile as she shut the door. The pair watched James drive off before going inside to confront the others.